Life has changed quite a bit since Suzy and I became parents. Yes, it’s all the regular stuff every other parent talks about: sleeping less, giving up your social life, working out, hobbies, etc. The biggest change however is not any of these things but rather the little things. There wasn’t a day that went by where we didn’t make the bed and I hardly ever left dishes in the sink overnight – well maybe a few because I was a little high. The laundry was folded, the homestead was tidy, and the energy was peaceful. Nowadays… well, shit. Laundry’s stacking up, there’s a tower of baby bottles in the sink, the TV’s always running, and making the bed is laughable. When I do make the bed however I feel so damn accomplished you would’ve thought I re-shingled the roof. But this one thing hasn’t changed; the peaceful energy. Well that’s not entirely fair to say because it absolutely did change. Eventually though we returned back to a peaceful energy because something about the perception of our household changed. Suzy coined this mantra that we’ve been using: “It’s OK if the TV is on and there’s bottles in the sink.” We use this to help acknowledge the fact that just because things are out of order and pretty far from what was once typical, it doesn’t mean that’s bad or that we’re not doing good. It took some time for us to allow ourselves a shift in our priorities without putting the pressure on ourselves for trying to maintain a previous lifestyle. See we had a belief system, it always circles back to those pesky limiting beliefs, in which we believed in order to maintain a successful household, we needed to stick to everything we were previously doing while adding a bunch of new stuff like um… raising a baby. Life comes at you in seasons and you need to allow yourself to adapt to the elements.
It’s OK if there’s a big shitty pile of dirty clothes stacked up on your bedroom floor. It’s not the pile of clothes that's giving you anxiety, it’s the fact that you believe there shouldn’t be a pile.
What if you decided that you’re going to allow yourself to make peace with that stink fest because you just need a break?
What if it was okay to not make your bed, and beyond that give a big ole smile at that heap of sheet knowing it doesn’t determine your level of peace.
Yes, I said heap of sheet and don’t act like that didn’t make you snicker.
Ask yourself what allowances you’re going to make this week in order to feel the peace you need to make the most of your mental health.
I betcha you're thinking of a few right now and already feeling a bit better.
Good, that's the point.
It’s nearly 10 PM Sunday night, not that times and days matter all that much as we’re sleep training our little guy. But anyway, I’m about to meander down through the kitchen and toss a big ole smirk at those dirty baby bottles knowing, it’s okay.
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